Dear
Readers,
These columns began on my area of America Online, called: Judaism
Today: Where Do I Fit? People anonymously
sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response
in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become
quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many
Jewish papers and websites. I hope you find they help you
as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood
components of the Jewish way of Life. I welcome your
comments... see the end of the column.
Gil
PS
Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward
them or use them as you see fit. Please see the friendly
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THE
BOY SCOUT AND THE RABBI
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Hi
Gil,
I
have been wrestling with an issue and
would like your thoughts on it. My son
recently received his Eagle Scout
award from the Boy Scouts. We
organized a ceremony at which he would
be able to receive the award along
with another (non-Jewish) boy who also
received it. It was decided to have
the ceremony on Shabbat afternoon.
We
consider ourselves active and devout
Reform/Liberal Jews and though we do
attend services on Friday nights or
Saturday morning, it is certainly not
in our practice to refrain from any
activity of the boy scout type on
Shabbat. I am very active within my
synagogue in leadership volunteer and
education capacities. My son continued
his education in the religious school
through confirmation and made a trip
to Israel after his sophomore year of
high school with the youth group.
The
reason why it became an issue is
because I asked our rabbi to give a
convocation at the ceremony. He said
he wouldn't and couldn't because of
Shabbat and said that the scout group
(obviously also including me) were
insensitive in choosing to have the
ceremony on Shabbat. I certainly
respect his desire to not appear at
non-religious public gatherings on
Shabbat, as he said he believe he
represents the entire Jewish
community.
I
wonder though whether his comments and
general lack of helpfulness, (He
refused to even suggest an alternative
to his appearing), are an example of
how so often our leadership has taken
actions that have tended to alienate
so many of us that feel engaged in
Judaism but choose also to live in the
modern world. What are your thoughts?
Should I have just let it drop?
Sincerely,
A
not-quite-alienated-but less hopeful
member of the Jewish community
Dear
"not-quite":
I'll
start with your last question: No, you
should not let it drop. After all, you
are correct: becoming an Eagle Scout
is the highest achievement in
scouting, representing countless hours
of work--a real milestone for your
son.
But
before you pick up the phone to give
it to your rabbi, you should know,
that in my view he is also correct.
After all, the Shabbat is so important
a day in Judaism that it even takes
precedent over the High Holidays (ever
notice that we don't blow the shofar
on a High Holiday that falls on the
Shabbat?)
How
can both of you be correct? Because I
think both of you are also partially
wrong -- though in fairness I would
like to hear the rabbi's side of this
story. But taking your version at face
value, I don't understand some of the
decision making you both have made.
For
example, Why would you schedule the
ceremony on Shabbat and also expect
the rabbi to be there? And, if there
are only 2 boys involved, why is the
day of the ceremony so difficult to
change?
From
the rabbi's point of view, why
couldn't he think of some ways to show
you that he respects your son's
accomplishment? Jewishly and
educationally, this seems to be a real
"teachable moment," a golden
opportunity that your rabbi has
missed.
Can
a Jew live in this modern world and
not feel alienated from Judaism and
Jewish institutions? Definitely yes in
my view--provided that everyone
involved have an open mind, show
tolerance and use a little creativity.
I
don't think it would be hard to find
some compromise here if you both were
willing to. Set up an appointment with
the rabbi. Tell him you have thought
about the difficult spot that you put
him in and that you are sorry, you did
not mean to do that. Explain your
motivation--that his participation
means a great deal to you and tell him
why. You should also share with him,
as you have with me, that you respect
his desire to honor the Shabbat and
not publicly represent the Jewish
Community.
Ask
him to please help you come up with
some creative solutions--assuming you
can't change the date. Here are a few
suggestions that I thought of using
little imagination: perhaps the rabbi
could give your son an aliyah to the
Torah on that Shabbat morning or
mention your son from the pulpit or in
the synagogue bulletin or send your
son a note. I would think your rabbi
would understand the value of sending
a positive Jewish message of this kind
to your son...even if the Shabbat
ceremony is a problem.
In
addition, maybe your son could prepare
a short speech or d'var Torah showing
how the Eagle Scout's Oath to Scout
Law is compatible with Judaism (I
looked up the 12 Scout Laws and there
is a lot in common with Jewish
teaching.)
If
things are going well in your
discussion, while you are at it why
don't you suggest establishing a
scouting chapter at your synagogue for
future Jewish Boy & Girl Scouts?
To learn more about Jewish Boy Scouts,
go to this website: www:shamash.org/scouts/.
For Jewish Girl Scouts go to
www.best.com/~esther/jgs.html.
So,
don't be alienated and do be hopeful.
You are wresting with a typical
problem faced by a Jew in this modern
world of ours, a conflict of values.
This challenge if handled right could
turn into a wonderful learning and
growing experience for all of you. It
may not be easy, but I think it is
worth the effort.
Good
Luck and Mazol Tov to you and your
son!
Gil
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