Dear
Readers,
These columns began on my area of America Online, called: Judaism
Today: Where Do I Fit? People anonymously
sent me E-Mail, and I began to choose one for a public response
in my Jewish E-Mail of the Week column. The column has become
quite popular and is now syndicated internationally in many
Jewish papers and websites. I hope you find they help you
as you think about the Ethics, Spirituality and Peoplehood
components of the Jewish way of Life. I welcome your
comments... see the end of the column.
Gil
PS
Teachers and others, feel free to copy my columns and forward
them or use them as you see fit. Please see the friendly
copyright notice at the end. |
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I
Feel Like a Fool at Synagogue
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Dear
Gil:
My
problem at synagogue is my lack of
knowledge. It is as if even the
youngest young person there has more
knowledge. I grew up in rural part of
the Southern Bible Belt, hundreds of
miles from the closest Jewish family
or synagogue. So I did the next best
thing I became a staunch Zionist. Now
I am 66 years old and want desperately
to belong.
D
D
Shalom!
Good
for you for speaking up and also for
wanting to do something! You can take
comfort, in the numerous stories in
Jewish folklore of God delighting in
the prayers of simple Jews who only
knew how to whistle, play a shepherd's
pipe or recite the letters of the
alphabet. The point being that
knowledge is not as important as
intention.
Still,
I have selected your email for a
public response because many people
(including Jews from big cities) have
expressed similar feelings to me about
not knowing what is going on at
services. They often feel embarrassed
and shame.
Understandably,
these people would tend to avoid
services. I would suggest that this is
one of the reasons a national study
showed that less than 15% of American
Jews attend synagogue on a weekly
basis.
The
inept feeling of being incompetent is
heightened because in contrast, most
Jewish adults today are highly
educated and experienced in their
professions where they spend most of
their waking hours. Few such adults
would care to place themselves in a
situation where they feel incompetent
and see others, who seem to be very
knowledgeable and seem to be getting a
lot out of the service.
The
situation reminds me of a news report
I once heard about Leonid Breshnev,
the late Secretary General of the
former Soviet Union. He was taken to a
football game in the US and asked
afterwards what he thought of the
game. His response: "All fall
down. All get up. All fall down. All
get up." That's all an
unknowledgable person got out of
America's most popular sport. I'm sure
he couldn't wait to see another game!
The
good news is that understanding what
is going on in services is
surprisingly easy....easier than
football. If I had just 10 minutes, I
could explain the basics to you. So
ask a rabbi if he/she or another
knowledgeable person would sit down
with you.
A
bit more knowledge that would make you
feel a lot more comfortable would take
you less than an hour. For example,
read Chapter 2 called "Feeling at
Home in the Synagogue" in the
book To Pray as a Jew, by Rabbi Hayim
Halevy Donin.
To
learn more is not daunting. Rabbi
Donin's whole book is easy reading and
provides tons of traditional
information. A brand new book called
The Way Into Jewish Prayer by Rabbi
Lawrence Hoffman is also a good
resource. On the web are also many
resources. Here's one to start with:
www.jewfaq.org -- click on Jewish
Liturgy, try also: Prayers and
Blessings
Finally,
I'll say a few words about Hebrew.
First of course, you can pray in
English. However, if you want to
acquire some quick Hebrew reading
skills, call 1- 800-44Hebrew. They
offer successful crash courses all
over the US and Canada.
Also
available is the book & CD/tape:
First Steps in Hebrew Prayer (which I
have not seen but I am told is a best
seller) for about $45. You can order
it at 800-998-5698.
On
top of these resources, you should
check with your rabbi -- there may be
classes or private help you can get at
the synagogue. (Here I'll add that
synagogue should be offering friendly,
non-threatening "How Jews talk to
God" classes for adults.) A
little effort on your part and you can
quickly feel more like you
"belong" at services.
Becoming
competent is one thing...and not that
difficult. But in all honesty, another
reason people do not go to the
synagogue is that they do not finding
meaning in the services or prayer.
This is a completely different and
more difficult challenge that will
have to wait for a future column (or
columns!)
Hope
this is helpful to you and others. I
wish you and all my readers a Happy
Passover!
Gil
A FRIENDLY COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© Copyright Gil Mann
These columns can be found at www.beingjewish.org. Not
only do I give you permissions to copy these Jewish Email
columns...I HOPE YOU WILL and that you share them with others!
All I ask is that you never charge anyone for them and that you
also include this little copyright notice. Thank You!
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