A
Jewish young adult loved music and loved to sing.
He wanted to be famous and decided that, Hip-Hop
music is very popular with his generation. He felt that he
needed the perfect Hip-Hop moniker. Well, Ice-T is taken,
and Ice-Cube is unavailable. Finally, he had the name he
wanted... Ice-Berg!
Mrs. Goldstein goes to the post office to buy
the newly issued 2003 Rosh Hashanah stamps so that she
can send them out with her New Year's greetings.
She says to the clerk at the post office:"Nu,
can I have 50 Jewish New Year's stamps?"
He responds, "Yes, Mam, but what
denomination?"
She then responds "Oy, my G-d, has it
come to this? OK. Give me 6 Orthodox, 12
Conservative and 32 Reform."
The
question is:
What does Maxwell House Coffee and Exodus Chapter 13
Verse 8 have in common?
The answer is: Both are famous as a Hagaddah
source.
Maxwell House gave away thousands of Hagaddahs that have
been used in homes for Seders for many years.
The word Hagaddah came from the Exodus Chapter 13 Verse
8 which states:
You shall tell (in Hebrew "higadetah) it to your
children on that day, it is because it is what the Lord
did for me when I went free from Egypt.
Jewish Joke
A Jewish Grandmother loses
her grandson at the beach when a tidal wave sweeps
him away into the depths of the ocean.
The Grandmother immediately
bows to her knees in the sand and prays to God for the
return of her grandson. "Please G_d, I have
always been a good person, a good Jew and a loving
Grandmother; please return my grandson to me."
Just as she finishes her
prayer, a huge wave crashes back on the beach,
returning the young boy to his Grandmother's side.
The Grandmother begins to
cry and hug her grandson that she thought she would
never see again. She is overcome with joy and
gratitude.
She looks once more at her
grandson, then looks back at the sky and yells, "He
had a hat!!!"
Jewish Trivia
Where in the Tanach (the Hebrew Bible) is the
story of Chanukah?
YOU WILL NOT FIND THE
STORY OF CHANUKAH IN THE TANACH, BUT YOU
WILL FIND IT IN SOME PROTESTANT BIBLES!
The Canonized Hebrew Bible
includes:
The 5 Books of Moses (the Torah)
The Prophets (The Nivieem)
Writings (Ketuvim)
The word Tanach
is an acronym of these 3 words.
The
story of Chanukah is told in the Book of Maccabbees,
found in what is called the Apocrypha.
This explains why Chanukah
within Judaism is not considered a major holiday.
The story of the
Macabees has traditionally been viewed with reverence in
Judaism. But unlike the canonized books of the
Tanach, is not considered holy.
Original Birth Names of Jewish Performers:
Woody Allen --- Alan Stewart Koenigsberg
June Allyson --- Ella Geisman
Lauren Bacall --- Betty Joan Perske
Jack Benny --- Benjamin Kubelsky
Irving Berlin --- Israel Baline
Milton Berle --- Milton Berlinger
Joey Bishop ---Joseph Gottlieb
Karen Black --- Karen Blanche Ziegler
Victor Borge --- Borge Rosenbaum
Fanny Brice --- Fanny Borach
Mel Brooks --- Melvin Kaminsky
George Burns --- Nathan Birnbaum
Eddie Cantor --- Edward Israel Iskowitz
Jeff Chandler --- Ira Grossel
Lee J. Cobb --- Amos Jacob
Tony Curtis --- Bernard Schwartz
Rodney Dangerfield --- Jacob Cohen
Kirk Douglas --- Issue Danielovich Demsky
Melvyn Douglas --- Melvyn Hesselberg
Bob Dylan --- Bobby Zimmerman
Paulette Goddard --- Marion Levy
Lee Grant --- Lyova Geisman
Elliot Gould --- Elliot Goldstein
Judy Holliday --- Judith Tuvim
Al Jolson --- Asa Yoelson
Danny Kaye --- David Daniel Kaminsky
Michael Landon --- Michael Orowitz
Steve Lawrence --- Sidney Leibowitz
Jerry Lewis --- Joseph Levitch
Peter Lorre --- Lazlo Lowenstein
Elaine May --- Elaine Berlin
Yves Montand --- Ivo Levy
Mike Nichols --- Michael Peschkowsky
Joan Rivers --- Joan Molinsky
Edward G. Robinson -- Emanuel Goldenberg
Jane Seymour --- Joyce Penelope Frankenburg
Simone Signoret --- Simone-Henriette Kaminker
Beverly Sills --- Belle Silverman
Sophie Tucker --- Sophia Kalish
Gene Wilder --- Gerald Silberman
Q. From what Jewish
holiday does the term scapegoat come and why?
A. The holiday is Yom Kippur. As described in
the passage below, as an act of atonement, the sins of the
people were symbolically placed on a goat and then the
goat was sent off into the wilderness. Scapegoat
today has come to mean unfairly blaming others for
problems. Ironically, the Jews have been scapegoats
over the centuries for a multitude of problems. i.e.
the Nazis blamed the Jews for much of Germany and Europe's
problems.
Va-Yikra/Leviticus
16:10
But the goat chosen by Lot as the scapegoat shall
be presented alive before the Lord to be used for making
atonement by sending it into the desert as a scapegoat.
Run your mouse over
the smile face for the answer.
Jewish Joke of the Week
Young Man: Rabbi, tell me, why is it that whenever a
Jew asks another Jew a question, he is answered with
another question?
Rabbi: Why not?
Three guys are
about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to
have for their last meal.
The Italian responds, Pepperoni Pizza, which he is
served and then executed.
The Frenchman requests a Filet Mignon, which he is
served and then executed.
The Jewish guy requests a plate of strawberries.
"STRAWBERRIES ????" asks the
executioner...."But they are out of season!"
"So," he responds, "I'll wait . . .
."
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